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How do you feel about dating apps?
Something happened last night, long story short it lead to me staying up all night googling and reading articles about how class divide effects sex and dating. And from what I can tell the big 3 (Tinder, Bumble and OKCuptd) seem to be helping bring people of different socioeconomic backgrounds together. Because most people seem to care less about that, and far more about who someone is, what someone’s goals are and how they plan on achieving them, and of course core values and interests and/or how good sex with someone might be. “And/or” because most people using dating sites aren’t Asexual and sexual compatibility is important to most people, and some people just use them for sex, nothing wrong with that.
I met my wife on OKCupid in 2010, just before dating apps took off. While I have no personal experience with them, I have enjoyed hijacking my friends’ phones and merrily swiping away on their behalf. Still, I do think the fundamentals of dating haven’t changed much in the digital age. It’s still rough to not be someone’s “type”. It’s still awkward as hell making small talk on a first date. And it still sucks until you meet someone you click with, at which point it becomes the greatest thing you’ve ever done. The difference now is that potential partner selection is much more efficient, with dating apps allowing us to dice up the population by all manner of categories.
But that efficiency is why I find it difficult to imagine that these apps are making us cross socio-economic divides more than before. I remember scanning countless OKCupid profiles which subtly or overtly indicated racial preference, for instance. And I’m not going to act holier than thou about this; I totally put up a filter to not consider anyone who hadn’t either obtained or was in the process of obtaining a post-secondary degree. But I’d love to see articles that say otherwise if you’d like to share.
I’ve been using Bumble and I quite like it. I’m rather shy so it’s kinda nice that there’s a dating app that goes against the social norms of guys should make the first move. I was actually suggested it from a female friend who liked it because it let her get final say in who could message her which at the time OKC let you DM anyone which as you can guess leads to all sorts of gross messages.
I think dating apps do help bring people of different backgrounds together tho. I have ended up talking to people that if you just judged them by their photos you would have never have guessed that they are really into sci-fi or things we label as nerdy.
higher education and men simply aren’t. This growing education already means that college-educated straight women wanting to date college-educated men are at a severe disadvantage, and very understandably many if not most women don’t like the idea of similarly educated man having more options than them because of what is meant to be an equalizing factor (higher education). So less and less women (especially younger women) prioritize finding a partner of their education level or higher because doing so puts them at a very real disadvantage and gives an uncomfortable amount of power to a select few men.
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